Pluck: Homage to Fortified
Wines
Dedicated to Pluck
and Son of Pluck
From the archive
written in 1999
By Daphne Muse
This urban tale is
based on in depth, non-imbibing primary research and a series of oral histories
conducted with Spotee-O-Dotee, Willie, House Party, Pluck, Son of Pluck and a
host of legendary characters who hung out on street corners, colleges and the
bars of urban America. In 1975, my
brother Vincent Muse worked in one of the infamous wineries in Modesto,
California where Annie Green Springs, Boone's Farm and MD
20/20 were vented, vatted and “vetted.”
Vince was a pipe
fitter at the winery and he watched the daily ritual of huge flat bed trucks
pulling up to deliver thousands of pounds of Malic acid. The acid was used to neutralize the effects
of the bees, bird/bat guano, and other vermin that fell into the seven-foot tall
vats. Early each morning as he pulled up
to the job, the vats would be covered with about four-inch layers of
crickets. Around ten o'clock, just as the
fog and mist began to lift, the crickets would vanish. The smell, wafting throughout the dense
Modesto air, still remains caught in Vincent's throat.
In the process of
collecting these oral histories, my brother Leonard shared the legacy of
Richard’s Wild Irish Rose.
Vinted and bottled in Petersburg, Virginia, Otto, the Swiss man who owns
the plant still lives there and his letters-to-the editor are a regular feature
in the Petersburg daily newspaper.
Leonard provided me with a series of original labels.
While perusing the
offerings at an estate sale filled with Christian iconography and memorabilia,
a woman walked up to me and handed me a bottle.
The label at the top read "free." She offered it up to me saying, "I think
you can appreciate this." In my hands she placed a classic: an original
bottle of Thunderbird, which I in turn have willed to the
Smithsonian.
In the past few
weeks, I also visited a series of libation emporiums to examine the shelves to
see if any of those liquid artifacts from our era remained on the shelves. What
I found amazed me, for the fortified wine trade has gone uptown in fancy
frosted colored glass bottles with "zip code wine" sounding names
that pass them off as respectable. While
brown bags can still be seen turned up to lips on the streets throughout urban
America, the folklore accompanying the pluck tales has virtually died out.
Pluck--It was a very good year for naive young girls with big stars in their
eyes. Annie Green Springs
left Boone's Farm on the Night Train to find her
dreams in the big city. On her first day
there, she met Hombre, a smooth operator whose running buddy Pluck
ran a blind pig and strip joint. Pluck
had visions of making frail little Annie a world famous exotic dancer named Peppermint
Schnapps.
Just as they were about to get in Hombre's Thunderbird, Wild
Irish Rose pulled up
and sicked Mad Dog 20/20 on this woman hanging all over Pluck. Packing her Colt 45 and
wreaking of Bullshot, Wild Irish Rose demanded an immediate
explanation. While fumbling to find her
hip on which to place her hand, she told her friend Ariba “Come
on over and Cold Duck this dude.” In his smoothest “swave-knave”
style, Hombre convinced Wild Irish Rose that no
harm was meant or done and invited them to come on up to the Cordon Negro
Arms in the Mogen David Hills, a uniquely gated community.
As they entered the apartment, the sound of ice clinking in glasses
could be heard and the slightly rancid smell of day-old barbecue sauce and
fried chicken on paper plates greeted his guests. Half-and-Half, Cisco and old ass
Sneaky Peet showed to the set lit to the gills. Tyrollia (Italian Swiss Colony),
who can't stop talking about her latest booze cruise, was in the house and had
just made a fresh batch of Champipple (Champale and
Ripple). Silver
Satin slipped on over from Strawberry Hills next to Red
Mountain to talk smack and libate some more “seconds,” the leftovers from other
people’s drinks. They had just
stopped by the Brown Derby Bar and swooped down on a couple of
quarts of Old English 800.
They came in “Soul Training,”
What’s the word? Thunderbird
What’s the price: 30, twice
What’s the reason? Grapes in
season
What’s the action? Satisfaction
It’s so nice, drank it twice.
In the background while Bitta Dog (Ripple
and lemon concentrate) was baying at the moon, the sound of Frankie Lymon baby
please begging one of his many latest women to come back to his low-down dirty
do wrong all the time arms, was easing off a 45. With tear filled eyes and foggy minds, they
all raised their jelly glasses to love, the Gallo Brothers and the imaginary rolling
hills of Modesto, the capitol of the fortified wine world.
Postscript: The world's largest retail
chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, Calif., to produce
the spirits at an affordable price; in the $6-8 range. While wine connoisseurs
may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their
shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine,” according to Kathy Micken,
professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, RI, "There
is wine in a box that people are willing to buy," she said. "The
right name is important"
The top 15 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:
15. Box O' Grapes
14. Chateau Traileur Doublewide
13. White Trashfindel
12. Big Red Gulp
11. Grape Expectations
10. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"
9. NASCARbernet
8. Chef Boyardeaux
7. Peanut Noir
6. Stagger Home
5. Chateau des Moines
4. Martha Stewart's Sour Grapes
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. World Championship Wriesling
1. Nasti Spumante
Copyright 1999
Oakland, California
Daphne Muse
510 436-4716, msmusewriter@gmail.com
